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| Anna. "records" 09/02/2007 via flickr.com Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic |
What I learned from analyzing my paragraphs is that I need to extend the length of a majority of paragraphs because they don't develop the topic sentence. Both paragraphs have a topic sentence that mirrors the subheading. Also, most of my paragraphs follow a narration style but varying that style would be beneficial for my topic because it is highly complex and has a science fiction aspect to it. Finally, all of my paragraphs need a voice because all of them are just listing facts not telling a story.
Here is the link to my analyzed rough draft.
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